Wellness Wednesdays: I’ll Ride This Wave Until I Come Out on the Other Side

I’m pretty sure I’ve mentioned my ADDled brain before. I was diagnosed with ADhD 20 years ago when I was 27.  I was struggling in my Master’s TESOL program and school had never been a struggle for me academically before. I was also seeing a therapist at the time who recommended I read Driven To Distraction by Dr. Hallowell.

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That was a turning point in my life. I went on Ritalin, I quit smoking, I started running, I received my degree, and I started teaching. When I switched Psychiatrists, because my awesome doctor decided to leave private practice for research, I was dismayed. I felt I was no longer getting the help I needed. So I quit my psychiatrist and I quit Ritalin. I managed with excercise, diet and yoga. I was handling it pretty well. I began to accomplish things I never thought I could.

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me after my second NYC marathon

Then six years ago we moved from New Jersey to Baltimore. I no longer had a network of friends and family nearby. I had to drive more often and everything spiralled down into chaos. I stopped eating an optimal diet, I wasn’t excercising consistently and the brain fog set in deep.

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Now here we are moving again. I got the big stuff out of the way and now I am running all over the house not sure where to begin, what to do, how to get it all done in time. I am also going to bed late, oversleeping and not eating an optimal diet. I do not feel optimal. If I think about it I do not even feel okay. I’m just squishy and fatigued.

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I make promises that tomorrow I will start working out, but tomorrow I oversleep. I am not running because my knees are still killing me. I tried to make a doctor’s appointment, but they did not have anything available until after we moved.

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I’ll just wait. I’ll ride this wave until I come out on the otherside. Then I will get back into a routine and taking care of myself. I will find a doctor to check my cholesterol, my knees, the sacs on my eyelids and my fatigue. Life is not constant and this will pass and I will be on course again. I don’t ever know my destiny, but that’s where the fun is.

 

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images courtesy of giphy.com, reactiongifs.com and @momtheobscure

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3 comments

  1. Ok lets start with the superficial stuff first. My father had upper blepheraplasty (sp) twice because the sacs were causing his eyelashes to go into his eyes. Is that what you had? I had sacs and a lot of money at 37 so I had it done too. The first time I said, ‘don’t overdo this I don’t want to look like a deer in the headlights’ and when he didn’t do it enough, I had him go in a second time. I am pleased with my eye’s appearance and I’m 56. Ritalin has it’s limits.

    Because I have binge eating disorder/exercise bulimia (watch those knees, girl you have no idea what I’ve done to my low back and how much I rue exercise bulimia’s toll on my body) I’m on those euphemized psych meds on the tellie advertised as being helpful for depression. They may be, but they are potent antipsychotics. Abilify, Latuda, Rexulti, Seroquel, I developed a movement disorder from a year of max dose Geodon. Should have stayed with Seroquel but it was exacerbating the exercise bulimia and constant sense of starvation.

    Low dose Vyvanse makes it so I still am hungry but can refrain from acting on my urges. I was able to turn a side effect of weight independant prediabetes (I was thin, it was definitely from my Clozaril) around—this is key because once that (Diabetes goes full blown, it’s harder to manage. Because of ADHD, I don’t want the extra self maintenance of having to check blood sugar, etc.

    This is really lame, but can you click on a link to a bipolar hope adhd story called “Slow Learner with Racing Thoughts?” I’ll leave the link but let me just say growing up I always felt left alone and left behind. Writing this doesn’t make this any better but it sure gives me a roadmap for the future and makes sense of the senseless.

    http://www.bphope.com/blog/bipolar-strong-slow-learner-with-racing-thoughts/

    • thanks for stopping by, reading and commenting! Im not sure about the sacs on my lids not interfering with anything but will have to check it out. I dont really care for doctors though. I do have to watch out for diabetes as my mom had it at the end of her life. Clicked the link, read and commented. I have always felt alone but never lonely, until lately.

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