Wellness Wednesday: A Day Late

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This is the story of my life. This obscure life where I run around and get nothing done, full of intentions and racked with guilt. I am trying to let the guilt go – I’ve discovered I can do that.*

I have tried everything: daily agendas, leaving messages for myself, smart phone reminders,apps,  kan bans, sticky notes…

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A physical Kanban board with a basic, three-step workflow @leankit.com

It all works for awhile. And then it all piles back up. It’s 10:35 pm now and I just so want to go to bed, but I’m sitting here pounding out this post and wondering where the day has gone.

Looking back: I see just how far I have come. I’ve become more aware and more active. I have run marathons and hiked mountains. I started running because I remembered I liked it as a kid. I was a chubby kid and always last to be picked for all gym activities, except the relay races. I would run my chubby little heart out. Then sometime around puberty: I got skinny and I stopped running.

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The collective they are always suggesting to find an activity that works with your schedule and lifestyle, something you enjoy so you keep doing it. So after trying classes at the gym, I thought about it and remembered how I loved running as a kid. How exhilarating it felt to zip down the alley or across the gym. So, I bought some sneakers and started running.

Where I am at now:  I started running again last March in 2015 after a year lay off. It was a slow and difficult crawl back. Yet something strange is going on. This week I did two short runs because I was gasping and had a lot of tension in my lower legs. I fell asleep when I should have been writing this post. So, I think my body is telling me something so I’m going to ease up a bit, today I walked 2 miles. I did the XBX excercises, but something felt strange and I couldn’t quite pin point it.

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2 daring things for me: showing some skin and letting my paunch hang out.  Loving my 40’s

Looking Forward: I need consistency. One of the reasons I don’t lift weights is because I can’t be consistent with training, the other is that I’m a weakling. I’d like to be more consistent and add some strength training without weights, maybe take a Barre class. Something new and different. Yet, as I write this that little voice in my head is whispering: “Yeah right. You just keep trying and never succeeding.” I am two things: persistent and loyal. I will keep trying, but perhaps I have to stop running into walls.

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So maybe, it’s time to be honest with myself. I know that I will not be consistent. So I need to accept it and work with it somehow.

  • Getting up early has been a challenge lately.
    • I need to go to bed earlier.  If not, just accept that 7 am  (not 6) is the time I wake up and plan my day accordingly.
  • I’m too tired and busy in the evenings
    • This is true, don’t give me that “No Excuses” BS. After picking my son up from school and letting him play for an hour, we come home and do homework and I make dinner. I also like to spend some time with my husband at the end of the day. I’ve discovered while it was nice meeting up with a running group in the evenings, running later in the day kept me awake. Morning excercise also revs me up for the day ahead.
  • I am NOT lazy, I am flexible
    • I will practice inconsistent consistency and work it in anywhich way I can.

So on that note — I really need to be off to bed. I’d would love to know how you stay consistent.

*I will leave you with a quote that changed my acceptance of myself:

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2 comments

  1. Sooo, I think it must be a problem within our family, I mean Bianchi family. I had the same problem for a long time and I still have it…. sometimes! Just, thought I wasnt doing enough in my life, for my body, for other people…….The problem was I wasnt doing enough for myself….. “Care about you” I`ve said to me “If you wanna run than run if you don`t want it than walk”. I`m not perfekt and I don`t wanna be perfekt I just wanna be what I am. Sometimes lazy other times not! Just keeping in touch with yourself, listening to your body and care about your emotions and trust yourself……

    • Thanks for the comment. You know I am mostly disconnected from the Bianchi family -by ocean and language. It’s good to know I am not such an anomaly! I am constantly telling my son he is not perfect and that is ok!

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